A compelling conspiracy theory
I'm not the sort of person who would devise a compelling conspiracy theory, in so much that I don't possess a beard, eat Pot Noodles, run an X-files or Doctor Who website or listen regularly to a CB Radio.
But I read an interesting news article this week which got me thinking. Apparantly airport security isn't as great as it could be, and in government tests where suspicious looking actors smuggled in weapons, 60% of knives, and 30% of guns went entirely undetected.
Erm, has anyone spotted the glaring fundamental flaw yet?
Alarming
So they've done the research and discovered that it's easy to get weapons through security. That's alarming in itself. So why publish it? Why shout it out loud for all the world to hear?
God, if that isn't the most stupid policy ever. Armed with this information (in addition to their already impressive arsenal of Jihad-grade weaponry) ten terrorists could march on Heathrow tomorrow, and the odds are that half of them will make it onto a flight with six knives and three guns between them.
The News: May be all made up
Hmm... Surely even the government, even the media aren't this foolish?
Which got me round to thinking 'OK, so this is probably a double bluff. Maybe security is actually really good, and these are made-up statistics, leaked to entice potential terrorists, and then the authorities can entrap the bastards.'
And I sure hope that this is the case. But if it works for airport security, how do we know that any 'news' is real? Maybe it's all just written to achieve a specific objective.
Sex Chat
Mobile phone users in cars cause accidents? Not news at all, just a ploy to sell more hands-free kits. And therefore directly increase the number of callers to lucrative sex chat lines.
Jill Dando's death? Never happened, it was all part of an initiative to create a number of new roles for unemployed actors in Crimewatch.
The war on Afganistan is a big cover-up. In truth the US wig industry is desperately short of human hair, and so they are having to dupe people into joining the armed forces so they can shave their heads. Anyone who is bald already gets turned away, you know.
Who knows what the real agenda is? Cue the spooky music, maybe I should stop bathing, and take out a subscription to the Fortean Times.
