Who is this Yank?
I know you're what you're asking yourself. Who is this YANK? And why should I read what he has to say?
First of all, know that I love you - my neighbors to the east - and always have. (And yes, that's how I spell neighbors so get used to it.)
As much as I have been shaped and molded (yes, I spell molded that way too...) by American entertainment - Saturday Night Live, George Carlin, Van Halen and Martin Scorcese movies - you should know that I have been equally inspired by Monty Python, The Beatles, XTC, Elvis Costello, The Clash, The Buzzcocks and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. And John Craven's Newsround.
American Entertainment
I admit it. I am fascinated with your culture (except the young Princes), and plans are already being made for my first journey over there to perform standup.
Typical
For I am everything typical about America. I am everything typical of Americans. And I am probably most of the things you hate about America/ns.
We are loud, obnoxious, rude, and we wear our emotions on our sleeve. But on our better days, we are also proud, ambitious, industrious, and willing to help those less fortunate than us. (You've seen Diff'rent Strokes, right?)
We are that fat, loud family from the midwest asking stupid questions and the smart, hip,funny guy you'd like to have a great conversation and a cup of coffee (Oh I'm sorry - TEA) with.
I am all of these things and none of these things, depending on the week and my mood. Just as all Americans are all and none of these things at any given time.
Our food is better
Because of our history, we have a lot to show, teach and learn from each other and we always will. Our food is better; your music is better. You have the Royal Family; we have The Kennedys. You have Big Ben and London Bridge and we have Disneyland on both coasts.
I am proud and ashamed of all the things that you love/hate about Americans, and I'm writing for Bad News UK because you need me to. You need a source of entertainment and news other than MTV, CNN and The New York Times.
I live in Los Angeles, on the front line if you will, and from my studio apartment in Hollywood I will be entertaining you with my hilarious, insightful views of the world. Hopefully I can teach and inspire along the way.
I am excited about being the American contributor for Bad News UK, and I'll see you on these pages in the coming months.
Until then, have a nice day!
