Coming into contact with a Bearded Twat
You would have to have lead a very sheltered existence to have avoided coming into contact with a bearded twat at some point in your life.
I'm not saying that everyone with a beard is a twat, of course, or indeed that all twats have beards, but certainly the bearded twat is a common enough species not to merit special mention in either the GBBG or the Observer's Book of Twats.
Dr. Rowan Williams: One of Canterbury's Many Archbishops
They are overwhelmingly male, surprisingly enough, with age-ranges varying between 'goateed student twat' and 'retired sociology teacher', and I'm sure you won't need to think too hard to recall your last encounter with a B-TTM.
Fracture Clinic
There's that greasy chap you met in the waiting room of the fracture clinic who regaled you with the anecdote about the time he met Lemmy from Motorhead in Butlins, Barry Island, and then tried to involve you when he subsequently had the same conversation with everyones else in the room.
What about the tall, lean, greying figure of whimsy who stands selling the Socialist Worker in the town centre, even though he has a villa in the South of France that only his family, and a vegan couple from Hampstead called Desmond and Portia ever get to see?
Twats to a man, I'm sure you'll agree.
Church
But these days you won't just find them in LibDem-run councils and Trainspotter's folk-singing clubs. Against all odds, the Church too has appointed a B-T to, well, run it.
There's no denying the fact that the new Archbishop of Canterbury is among their number, and is tipped to run Frank Dobson MP a close second in this year's beardiest twat in Britain awards.
Dr. Rowan Williams is known for his compelling hybrid of Liberal Anglo-Catholic churchmanship and left-wing political views. And getting bits of food caught up in his beard.
He will lead the Anglican Church into a new progressive era, with his support for women bishops, homosexual priests and CAMRA beer festivals.
And we'll all be able to learn from his wisdom and guidance - if you've never heard his wonderful sermon about the time he was at Butlins on Barry Island, you've a treat in store!
