The hottest giveaway ever!!!

Win a Thermos 9000+ Flask

Buying a new flask is one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Which model do you buy? Will the capacity adequately exceed the amount you are likely to want to drink? For how long can it maintain a constant temperateure of 92 degrees Celsius? It's enough to make you reach for a small plastic mug of lukewarm milky tea!

But one lucky reader will now win the chance to have that almighty burden spirited away from them forever - because we're giving away a Thermos 9000+ Flask!!!

Surely the finest flask ever designed by Swiss craftspeople, the 9000+ combines luxurious retro styling with 21st Century Japanese technology, and Teutonic build quality.

All you have to do to win it is to tell us why you want one so badly - in an essay of not less than 15,000 words.

You are required to quote other flask-competition essayists as appropriate, and provide a full bibliography and index of the illustrations and diagrams used (minimum 50).

Additionally, the work should be translated into French, German, Italian, Spanish, Portugese, Chinese and Arabic, and must also be presented as a series of talks and slideshows.

I think I'm entitled to win the Thermos 9000+ Flask because...

The winner will be notified via e-mail.