10 Questions not to ask your ISP's tech support
With more than a million new surfers coming on line every day, Britain now has more Internet users than people - a trend which can only continue for the coming future.
But with ordinary people now joining the ranks of the cybergeek, the need for elementary technical support has naturally increased, and that's where the Internet Service Provider comes in.
But as any disgraced former rock star who sang 'Rock and Roll Christmas' could tell you, there are some support issues that are better kept to onesself...
- Does the Mature & Asian Girls Anal site take as long to load on your computer as it does on mine?
- You don't have Lieutenant Bin Laden's email address, do you? Like an idiot, I deleted my address book yesterday and I need co-ordinates for an upcoming mission.
- When I send out ads to my mailing list, thousands of them are bounced back to me. Why is that?
- My friend, R Kelly, keeps sending me emails with big attachments that take ages to download. Is there any of speeding things up?
- I've managed to get my hands on copies of the new Lord of the Rings and Matrix movies. What do you recommend as the fastest way for me to share them with the Internet community?
- Is it true that, in the eyes of the law, everyone is the same age in a chat room?
- You don't happen to have an end-of-year award for the customer who posts the most racist, bigoted and inciteful comments on newsgroups and message boards, do you?
- A friend and I are lining up a job at the building society in the high street Can I take it that any details I send him about the getaway route will be completely confidential?
- I'm not much good with search engines so perhaps you could recommend some of the more popular neo-Nazi sites for me and my like-minded friends?
- I can't believe I'm only entitled to 10MB of free webspace. My Bangkok holiday snaps alone are twice that size.
