Beatles joke requires rewrite

A joke which has amused the nation for more than 20 years was being hurriedly re-written this week, after the death of Beatles bass-player George Harrison.

Shortly after the assassination of John Lennon by Graham Chapman in 1980, the hilarious throwaway gag 'Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles? A: Three more bullets!' was reducing the nation to peals of hearty laughter. A laughter which has continued ever since.

Harrison: Dead

But Comedy writers are now looking for ways to rework the joke to allow for the fact that there are now two beatles dead, two remaining alive, and only one of the dead ones was shot.

Cancer

'It's a real bugger', said writer Jane Bussman, of successful writing duo David Quantick and Jane Bussman. 'We've tried alternate punchlines, like "two more bullets", or "for Ringo and Paul to be shot or get cancer" but it doesn't quite work'.

'David thought he had it the other day. He said "What would it take to reunite the Beatles, answer: Two more cancers and for Lennon to have died of cancer as well". But it isn't really snappy enough is it?'

'In many ways, the whole thing would've worked out better if George had died that time when he was stabbed by an intruder' she added.

Of Wight

The last known rendition of the joke came on November 10th, just several days before Harrison passed away. The father of the groom used it in the following context at the conclusion of his speech, at a wedding reception in Shanklin, Isle of Wight:

Bubble: Unfunny

'So, have a drink everyone, and enjoy the band. We were hoping to get the Beatles to play tonight, but I don't know what it would take to reunite them. Three more bullets I suppose. [pause for laughter] Anyway, let's have a toast to the bride and groom'.

The joke was last heard on British television back in May of this year, when it was used by Arsenal-supporting Big Brother loudmouth 'Bubble' (real name Arthur Smith).

Feeble

His particularly feeble rendition, and embarassing snigger after the words 'three more bullets' is believed to be one of the major factors in his early eviction from the show.

Previously, a variation on the joke had been used by chef Anthony Worrel-Thompson on a celebrity edition of 'Ready, Steady, Cook'.

The somewhat modest laughter that followed was perhaps a sign that, even before the death of George Harrison, this particular joke had reached the end of the punchline.