Archbishop of Banter-Carey

The Archbishop of Canturbury will find out this week if he will lose his job as head of the Anglican Church, after a number of complaints from angry congregations.

Carey: Controversial

Dr. George Carey's controversial series of 'Church 18-30' eucharists at Canterbury Cathedral over the Christmas period were part of the reform process that began with the ordination of women priests, but for many his actions lately have gone too far.

According to reports, Dr. Carey

• PISSED into the chalice before administering Holy Communion!
• REARRANGED the crib figurines to depict one of the Wise Men rimming the Ox!
• STRUMMED an acoustic guitar along to Graham Kendrick worship song 'Our God Reigns'!

While a successor has not yet been appointed by His Holiness The Pope, the current front-runner is the 'conservative evangelical' Richard Chartres, presently the Bishop of London, who other senior church figures hope can restore some dignity to the role.

Post

But there are also rumours that former Archbishop Robert Runcie might consider a return to the post for a second time, 13 years after vacating it in the midst of an inquiry into improper conduct and money-laundering, of which he was subsequently cleared.

High Church: Unfashionable

Whether Carey's successor is a traditionalistant or a reformer, the odds are set against the appointment of a liberal Anglo-Catholic, the kind of whom ran the church until the 1970s.

In recent years, the C of E has moved quickly to shed the 'smells and bells' imagery of the High Church, and instead has adopted an agenda of rigid homophobia, hypocritical morality and overhead projectors.

But suit-wearing clergy preaching into microphones has only proved a limited success as worshippers continue to defect to both Roman Catholicism and Non-conformist sects.

Last year, attendance at Sunday Morning Worship in Anglican Churches across the country fell below one billion for the first time in history.